" I believe that the things we dread most can sometimes save us."

Barbara Kingsolver, "Small Wonder"

Today, I entered the "Infusion Lab" at Western Washington Oncology in Olympia, Washington. (well, it's actually in Lacey, but that's another story). Infusion lab - -sounds rather spa-like, therapeutic and invigorating...  maybe I've lived in California too long. The Infusion Lab is my number one tool in reducing, eliminating metastatic cells in my body - that somehow started gulping on whatever bits and pieces of estrogen, multiplying - invasive. And not very polite, they were not invited. 

The Chemo protocol, as it is called, for me includes Taxol. Part of the tx is Benadryl, so I spent most of the time deliciously dozing. The after-effects are minimal (so far), and in fact the coughing has reduced. 

I'm big into visualization - so for this one I'm thinking "Wizard of Oz." After all, there is no place like home. I'm visualizing the metastasis shrinking, dissolving when Dorothy throws water on the Wicked Witch of the West, "I'm melting, I'm melting, oh, what a world." Because we always have those truths within in us all. 

So - my next "infusion" is next Friday - I will have weekly IV chemo through the end of July, with a break somewhere in there. I will know more next week -- Dr. R has been out on "empathy duty," with a surgery of his own. This all came on suddenly, and I'm pleased with the quick response.  I may not have all the details, but they do, and I'm good with our path. 

For those of you that did not receive an earlier group email of some form -- here are the details of why I'm in Olympia, and ranting on about infusion:

"I've been having a chronic cough since last winter -- with no results from various treatments. On May 14th, I had my regular 6 month appt with my oncologist in Olympia - known as Dr. R. To make a very long story short -- he was quite concerned about a CT that I had in Truckee in February (the doc there had found nothing wrong) - Dr. R called for more tests. And if you didn't know - I am a five year breast cancer survivor.

On Monday May 18th , over 1 liter of fluid was removed from the tissue surrounding my right lung. Cytology of the fluid showed evidence of tumor cells. The VERY good news is that the test also showed positive receptor for estrogen/progesterone  -- my oncologist said, "This is a very good thing, you're likely to respond VERY WELL to an anti-hormone therapy. 

We will begin with chemo, and yes I will most likely lose my hair. Cost savings in these economic times. We'll start with IV, then move to a pill format. The chemo is tolerable, "kinder" so shouldn't have too many side effects (which is kinda funny, since it's making my hair fall out, which is not a big deal, I'll go back to scarves, great for summer!). Dr. expects results within two months, and even before that, a lessening of the fluid build-up, short breath, etc. He also felt that overall, the anti-hormone therapy will also be good at keeping those tumors a bay in the future. I like it when Dr. R says, "future." 

I had a PETscan yesterday - which will show the location of the tumor -- and met with the clinic's naturopathic oncologist and had an acupuncture session. Ah, the services that I had to outsource five years ago, are now available in the clinic! I will remain at my mom's in Olympia for treatment. Jared will commute between Wa and Ca for now.

On a sadder note - Jared's mom has been diagnosed what appears to be on-set dementia. My heart is sorrowful for Margret, and I'm saddened that I couldn't make the trip with him to England this week to support them. What a brilliant mind, fading. Please put Jared in your thoughts and prayers as he makes this very difficult journey to his mum -- he was torn between staying with me, and going to her -- Jared is a wonderful son and husband. No betta. He will return to the states on June 12th, and head north soon after.

My friends Alison and Kresta drove Rogue (my dog) and summer clothes up from Tahoe. Friends, Family, Faith, Strength.

I watched the sun rise over Tahoma (Mt. Rainier), with a crescent moon and the morning star guiding the way. 

Everyone has their trials and tribulations -- I feel fortunate to have so many people keeping me close in their heart, their prayers."