Ring the bells

“Ring the Bells that still can ring.

Forget your perfect offering.

There is a crack in everything.

That is how the light gets in.”

leonard cohen

 

I’m sure that everyone has noticed that weekly writing just hasn’t happened. About a week ago, I noticed a trembling, rather over-amped feeling that just wasn’t conducive to pecking away at a word document. Instead, I spent the time trying to expend this energy by reading, ki-gong and limited yoga.

 Ki-gong? This is a good website that provides concise information about this ancient Chinese form of healing: www.breastcancer.com/self-care/qigong/

 Saw the good doctor yesterday, had the results from the bone scan. There has been recurrence of my breast cancer in my bones – primarily in ribs, left scapula, cervix, (bone, not tissue) and near my breastbone. Once again – Dr. R feels that it’s all totally treatable, following the protocol that he’s established, with the addition of another chemotherapy drug that will be administered (infused) once a month until we see results. The side effects may include some flu-like symptoms for 3-4 days following the tx…. We’ll see. We also found out that the trembling-ness that I've felt is from overtaking the nausea meds, so I'm backing off, sniffing my peppermint inhaler instead. 

So far, I’ve tolerated the chemo rather well considering it’s a weekly event. The plan is to continue this weekly regime for 8 sessions, followed by two weeks off, then completed the final 4 sessions. I’m excited about that notion – having the two weeks off will coincide with my brother’s 60^th birthday celebration, that will be held in the Pac NW, possibly at Houndshead. What a great way to usher in our relationship to the land by family celebration.

 I was hoping that today I would be able to make the drive to Lummi in order to celebrate Raymond Ballew’s Indian naming ceremony. Ray, just about to turn thirteen, is an amazing young man that is part of my family through his parent’s Laural and Tim. The connection started the day I met them, and although I won’t attend in person – my heart will be will them. Blessings and congratulations Ray!

 Family and friend connections this week have been wonderful – Jared arrived on Wednesday, and will be here until Monday. Fantastic reunion with love and partnership. Jared’s mum has stabilized, and in place for her is a cadre of professional caretakers and medical staff that will ensure Margret stays on her medications, and stays connected. We hope to visit her sometime this fall. I spoke to her a couple of weeks ago after watching, “Elizabeth.” When I mentioned how I would have enjoyed watching the film with her, she asked me, “Was the film about Elizabeth 1 or our current queen?” I said, “Elizabeth 1, realizing my English history ignorance – was there another one?” My question to her was since Elizabeth never had children, who succeeded her on the throne? Margret then recited the entire lineage of English royalty, starting with Elizabeth and ended with the current Elizabeth. I’m always amazed by the width and breadth of her historical perspective of her country she loves so much. A great lady, from an era that really knew how to “KBO” (Keep Buggering On), as Winston Churchill said during WWII.

 Kourtnei came down for three days – we had our standard meal at Tea Leaf II – spinach bean curd soup, Mongolia chicken, and potstickers. Laughed, watched our tacky tv shows, and just plan hung out. My mom Barbara continues to be unwavering with her love, support and patience with my endless and often strange food cravings. Other visitors included Sarah Gavin, Kourtnei’s sweet friend from high school and beyond– who brought fresh strawberry jam, Ann Dorgan, a wonderful friend from the WIT days, Brad Bressolin, Craig Johnston, who was the producer of the HowCome? Show that I interned with at KING-TV in 1988 – we have remained friends for all those years. Various calls from other family and friends. Another person that has reappeared in my life is my dear friend Victoria. We’ve been friends for over 20 years, starting out as my massage practioner. Victoria found out she had breast cancer shortly after my diagnosis. She too, had experienced recurrence at a far greater level that what I’m going through. We are planning to “infuse” together next week, bringing a level of giggles, chortles and love in the treatment room. Bless you, dear Victoria.